Hi. My name is Emmalee, and I am a 25-year-old mother of two. I currently weigh 137 pounds and I am a glorious size 8. I am the smallest I've ever been in my adult life and I can honestly say I don't want to be any smaller. Now before you start thinking I am writing this post to brag, pause, and let me assure you- I am not. I've actually put off the prompting to write this post for a couple months now because I don't like putting myself "out there" this much and worried about negative responses. I finally realized that the whole point of this post was not worrying what others think, and I should just get over myself and spill all my secrets in the hope that it will help someone else. So here goes...
I first started thinking about several months ago when I was out shopping with a couple of friends. As they perused through the size 2's, 4's, small's, and extra smalls, I jokingly excused myself to go take a look at the "big girls" section. At this, they both laughed and responded with phrases such as, "Whatever!" and "Shut up, you're skinny!" I thanked them for the compliments but excused myself to go as I did, in fact, need to go look at the bigger sizes if I was going to find anything for myself on this shopping adventure. It still took a minute for them to believe that I wasn't just dissing myself and actually telling the truth. They were both very surprised, if not shocked, to learn that I was a size 8/L. Fast forward to today. Since that experience, I have had several similar responses from girlfriends when they find out what size I am. I can't deny I'm flattered that I apparently look smaller that I am, but the nagging question I can't get past is, "Since when is size 8 big?"
I've had body image issues basically my whole life. Let's be honest, I think most girls do. I grew up in a small town, went to a small high-school, and was surrounded by tiny girls. I wore the biggest pant size of all my friends. I had less dates than all my friends. I knew why. Obviously, it was because I was fat. I remember one specific time when a good friend of mine- probably size 2 at the most- was complaining about her belly. I asked her if she'd rather have mine and she told me "no", and then gave some excuse that it was because she really like her belly button... Yeah. That pretty much cemented my belief that I was huge. I had some amazing friends in high school whose influence kept me from doing anything TOO stupid or dangerous to lose weight. We clung to each other through our four years of splendid high school glory and I'm pretty sure we all saved each other from a lot of things. That being said, I still felt fat.
It wasn't until I got to college that I first started to realize that maybe my perception was off. That first year at BYU-Idaho I really had a turn-around. I started to realize that not only was I not "fat" in comparison with the average person, but maybe even on the "thin" side. This blew my mind. Still, it's taken years of time and a lot of education to get to where I am today.
I spent five years at BYU-I and BYU in Provo studying to be a Health Teacher, Coach, and Physical Fitness Instructor. The more I have learned, the more passionate I've become that weight and size mean nothing. Fitness and health are the only important indicators. THERE IS NO PERFECT SIZE! We're all different and my healthy size is going to be different than Jane's healthy size, and so on. The media has warped our minds into believing that in order to be worthy, we need to be "skinny". We all obsess about losing weight, and the focus on actual health is getting lost. Let me blow your minds. Just because Jane is size 2, it does not mean she is healthy. In fact if size 2 Jane isn't exercising, she is indeed LESS healthy, and more likely to have heart disease, than size 14 Sally who exercises regularly.
Don't mistake me. I'm not saying that being overweight or obese are suitable lifestyles. It's a very unhealthy and risky way to live your life. Do these people need to lose weight? Yes, absolutely. The quality and longevity of their lives will be greatly improved if they do. However, I feel that focusing on a ideal weight or pant size goal is also unhealthy. We should make fitness and healthy eating goals instead of weight goals. By focusing on eating healthy and becoming more fit, the weight will come off and it will happen in a way that's healthy for your body. You can't be fit and severely overweight. It just won't happen.
To give the example of Jane (because I have had friends like this), if she is eating healthy and exercising regularly at size 2, she should stop trying to be a size 0. It's probably not a healthy size for her. For Sally's example (I've also had several friends like this), if she is eating healthy and exercising regularly at size 14 and not losing weight- she is probably at good size for her body and she should not be concerned about being "fat",based on her pant size. I can tell you this. I will never, ever be a size 2. I'd probably have to be dead. I will never, ever weigh 120 pounds... unless I had a severe eating disorder...or had a limb amputated.
Finally, after years of feeling horrible about myself and obsessing about weights and pant-sizes, I feel like I can be confident in who I am and what I look like. I exercise 3-5 times a week for about 45 min (my goal is to shoot for 5 times a week of at least 30 min continuous exercise), I eat lots of fruits and vegetables, make most of my grains whole grains, eat lean meats sparingly, and try to overall just eat a balanced diet. I still eat pizza, burgers, and treats- but try to keep it under control and make it an occasional food rather than my regular habit. I can honestly say that I feel like I'm pretty healthy.
Do I still have moments when I feel fat? Yes. Especially when I'm trying to lose the baby weight! Can you blame me when I'm constantly assaulted by media messages that tell me to lose weight and get skinny so I can be beautiful? I just hope that we can move away from our culture's obsession with numbers on the scale and in department stores and start focusing on getting healthy! Who cares what size you are! As I said earlier, I am a size 8 and it feels GREAT! Why does it feel so great? Because I am healthy at this size, and healthy is all that really matters. So whether you're size 5 or 50, I just hope that maybe this post will help someone else out there realize that sizes are just numbers and you probably care about it more than anyone else. Try to get healthy, whatever size you are. Tell yourself it's all that matters ,(because it really is!!), and I promise you that you will be a happier person! You'll feel better, have more confidence, and live a longer life!
For those interested: The current reccomendations for adult exercise (ages 18-64) is 2 hrs 30 min (150 min) weekly of moderate-intensity aerobic activity with muscle strengthening activities on 2 or more days of the week. For more information and tips to get started click here!
http://www.cdc.gov/physicalactivity/everyone/guidelines/adults.html
